Ok, I enjoyed reading some of your sick excuses and want to share one that I used recently on my boss (who I hate btw) This one really isn’t recommended unless you have a unique situation like I have. You see my boss has been working us over approx one to two hours overtime everyday. It’s getting ridiculous with the overtime that was never part of the job description. And to make matters worse he yells if you come in late at all even after keeping us late into the night.

The other day I was 10 minutes late to work. As usual the loudmouthed jerk started yelling about me being ten minutes late. So in front of everyone I say to him… “I’m sorry I’m ten minutes late to work today, but I have a good reason. It’s because I was two hours late going home last night.”

My boss turned beat red and made me go into his office. We discuses the schedule and I was lectured on insubordination. Long story short we have been going home earlier ever since. So I guess it works if you can take a little risk.

So you were having too much fun and decided to blow off work and take a day off. The only problem is, you forgot to call in and now are worried about coming up with No-Call/No-Show excuses to avoid the consequences. For many employers this can mean a write-up in your permanent work record, or even termination from your job. So what can you do to help you come up with a sick excuse that has the best chance at getting you off the hook? Here are some tips and sick excuses that may help you worm out of this tricky predicament.

First off the best thing you can do when you’ve really screwed up like this is to get a doctors note. Nothing says you were really deserving of the day off like a note from an authority. So if you know your relationship at work is already strained or they have little tolerance for no calls/ no shows, it’s highly recommended that you get a doctors note asap.

Another thing to consider when crafting a sick day excuse is to MAKE IT BELIEVABLE. Bosses hear every excuse in the book, and many people think that by coming up with something original they can somehow get away with it. For instance I heard of a guy who said his garage door was stuck, and THAT was the reason why he didn’t call or show… C’mon the boss sees right through that. Obviously he could have called in, or taken a taxi or bus to work. That’s not gonna fly…

You need to carefully consider the situation and fine tune it toward your situation. Some of the best sick excuses for no call/no shows are a variation of a personal illness, family illness, or your car broke down and you were stranded. *** Remember: Getting your butt to the hospital and getting a genuine sick note from the doctor can help wonders in this situation.***

Some of the variations for personal illness are: Diarrhea is one of my favorite excuses because bosses don’t ask questions. The less questions the better. Another good sick excuse is any kind of really private problem. For women it can be PMS, Pap smear exam, bladder infection etc. For men it can be kidney stones, prostate checkup, lump on the scrotum etc.

When calling in, or explaining your excuse to your boss remember to always keep your sick excuses consistent. Keep them short, and to the point.

If you are looking for excuses for calling in sick to work or school you’ll need to get your game plan figured out before you make your call. One of the ways to prepare is to start acting sick the day before. This way it won’t come as a total surprise when you call in sick the following day. Preparation beforehand really pays off, if your boss sees you looking sick the day before. It may even help you avoid having to get a doctors note if you take several days off.

Here are some of my favorite excuses for calling in sick that really work because they deal with infection. I mean c’mon people don’t want to get sick themselves so acting out like you have a virus, or other communicable illness works pretty effectively.

You have pink eye (Conjunctivitis) – Pink eye is swelling, inflammation, or infection of the lining of your eyelids. It’s easily transferred to others so it really creeps people out if they think you have it. This is especially good for an excuse because it usually doesn’t require a trip to the doctor but can take 3-4 days to go away. The only down side is you may need to make your eye red to imitate the effect so it really looks like you’ve got the pink eye.How to fake pink eye – Ok now purposefully irritating your eye is not recommended because of obvious reasons. However I’ve successfully gotten out of dates, school, and work by rubbing a little soap to create redness under my eye. After rubbing for less than a minute my eye gets red enough to look like a dead ringer for the real thing. I’ve also heard that some people cut up a piece of a jalapeno pepper and rub a tiny bit of the juice under the eye. Sounds painful, so I’ve always used soap or shampoo to redden the eye. Some people even use red lip liner and apply it to the rim of the eyelids. I’m a guy so this method never appealed to me

Poison Oak is another good one that people do not want to catch. Poison oak is spread when oils remain on the skin or clothing, and are transferred to another body part. It spreads from person to person in some cases. You can replicate and create a fake rash like poison oak by purchasing one of the kits that are available in many stores during the Halloween season. These kits contain all the essential needed to make a fake rash. If you know of another skin irritant that makes your skin look all gross you could try that too, just be careful not to overdo it.

The swine flu – or regular flu for that matter. People are deathly afraid of the hyped up beyond belief swine flu. Try saying you were going to get a flu shot but left when you saw a couple of sick people in the waiting room, with one coughing up a lung. Then a few days later blammo, you’re sick with what you think is the swine flu. Trust me your boss will want you to stay home if you set this up right!